Posts Tagged "self-connection"

Family Vacation – one great tip on how to improve it

I’ve been looking at how to optimize our family vacations for the past several years. (See last year’s post, “Reduce conflict during family vacation!”) As our two kids are hitting their teenage years, it’s getting more challenging than ever to find win-win agreements and outcomes. How on earth can everyone be satisfied when we have very different wishes and needs? It seems impossible at times. Especially…

The Comparison Trap . . . and getting out of it

I recently received this question from a woman I know: “I’d like some help dealing with the trap of comparing. I’ve been struggling under the weight of house envy. A friend has a new home with garden attached, and the arrival of summer weather threatens to steal all my usual joy in the season. I guess it sounds absolutely ridiculous and trivial, but it’s so real…

How I deal with my teenager’s ‘disrespect’

(note: please forgive the brashness expressed in this article – my need for being with reality is bigger than any desire to be overly polite . . .) “Fuck you!” Those were the words that cut off my recent attempt-to-connect sentence coming out of my mouth: “Sweetie, let’s try talking abo-” As the door slammed behind my just-turned 13-year-old son, I tried picking my jaw off…

Unlearning Perfectionism

I’ve studied and written about perfectionism plenty . . . my own experience with it, tips to overcome it, etc. But what I now know better than ever is that all the reading in the world doesn’t help one deal with it compared to a living, breathing experience. I’m talking about the act of DOING instead of thinking, analyzing, theorizing, trying to understand. Since I can’t…

A Journey Towards Self-Love

Self-love. For a long time, this was such a vague, foreign concept to me that I just didn’t know where to begin. Once I learned how important it is for me to connect with and care for myself, I stayed perplexed about HOW to go about it . . . there are after all no step-by-step manuals for sale. Since I’m not alone in this kind…

How anger can help you connect

If you’re anything like the old me, you’re probably confused at the notion that anger can be anything but disconnecting. I grew up with the belief that anger wasn’t o.k. As a result, if I ever felt and showed my anger, shame and guilt tagged right along with it. It was indeed a very disconnecting process in which I experienced double conflict: self-blame for allowing anger…

Prioritizing Self-Care (even when you think it’s impossible)

This time of year has always been the most challenging for me, especially when it comes to taking care of myself. It was as if life went into overdrive on all fronts: work deadlines, social obligations, kids’ school festivities, gifts, holiday cards, special foods, traveling, etc. Each of these seemed to come out of nowhere, wrapped in a package labeled “URGENT!” And I’d take on each…

Rediscovering Self-Connection

I am all too familiar with the theme of disconnection from myself. I don’t see it in a purely negative light, but something like this: As children, we want more than anything love, appreciation and acceptance for who we are. Yet the world around us tries to shape us into “proper” self-reliant individuals. Within our unique frameworks, we develop multiple strategies to get these and other…

Emotions, useful? You bet – here’s the why and how

It’s not often I enjoy a “kid film” as much as I did this past summer’s Pixar hit, Inside Out. I laughed, I cried, I felt connected with myself (as things resonated with me) and also with my eight-year old daughter whose hand I squeezed all throughout. I kept thinking, “How wonderfully healthy for her and all other children to be watching this movie!” At some…

 Edging Towards Honesty

A friend once said to me, “Something is gained from every act of honest communication.” I recall my doubtful reaction. Yet I’m slowly learning he’s spot on. The trick is in how we define HONESTY. Being honest is not about sharing our thoughts. It’s about sharing our real truth—the only thing we actually can know—by expressing our personal feelings and needs. My “break-ups” Since my teenage years,…

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