Posts Tagged "Nonviolent Communication"

Rediscovering Self-Connection

I am all too familiar with the theme of disconnection from myself. I don’t see it in a purely negative light, but something like this: As children, we want more than anything love, appreciation and acceptance for who we are. Yet the world around us tries to shape us into “proper” self-reliant individuals. Within our unique frameworks, we develop multiple strategies to get these and other…

Emotions, useful? You bet – here’s the why and how

It’s not often I enjoy a “kid film” as much as I did this past summer’s Pixar hit, Inside Out. I laughed, I cried, I felt connected with myself (as things resonated with me) and also with my eight-year old daughter whose hand I squeezed all throughout. I kept thinking, “How wonderfully healthy for her and all other children to be watching this movie!” At some…

 Edging Towards Honesty

A friend once said to me, “Something is gained from every act of honest communication.” I recall my doubtful reaction. Yet I’m slowly learning he’s spot on. The trick is in how we define HONESTY. Being honest is not about sharing our thoughts. It’s about sharing our real truth—the only thing we actually can know—by expressing our personal feelings and needs. My “break-ups” Since my teenage years,…

Nonviolent Communication in practice

There I was, inside a circle of 30 workshop participants. I’ve never liked being in the spotlight, never saw myself teaching, and I was feeling quite nervous and scared. And then, within the span of about one minute, I felt calm, safe, and totally impassioned about moving on. What could have brought about such change so quickly? How do I within seconds achieve clarity, connection and…

Staying connected with my partner

As a question to reflect on (not a test) . . . over the holidays, did you manage to connect and stay connected with the people who are MOST important to you? Read on to learn how I figured out a way for staying connected with my partner, and how you can, too. I find it so very intriguing. Over the course of my partnership (20+…

Connecting with Children in Need of Mourning

I was experiencing mixed emotions in anticipation of the day both my children stopped believing in Sinterklaas. On the one hand, I didn’t want the joy, the excitement, the “magic” to end for them. On the other hand, I was looking forward to the day I could have far more honest conversations with them, experience less pressure concerning filling their shoes AND to give them something…

Find connection with others

Throughout my life, I’ve been labeled as an extrovert. It’s true that I really enjoy people and derive much energy from them . . . but not just anyone and not just anytime. I have to first feel safe and comfortable – unafraid of being unfairly judged or sudden conflict. These conditions which I’ve become aware of as an adult have made it practically impossible for…

How to get unstuck, gain balance, and feel more satisfied in life

Are you wondering how to get unstuck? Does this sound familiar? “I am always doing, in survival mode, juggling parenting, work, household duties, volunteering, social activities—and find myself in certain routines and patterns. How do I deal better with my chaotic and full head and experience more relaxation, satisfaction and balance in my life?” I asked myself a similar question the year I turned 40, engaged…

Applying NVC in Daily Parenting

I don’t like to give the impression that I “know good parenting.” I don’t even believe in the concept of “good vs. bad” anymore – it’s the root of so much comparison, blame, pain in our lives. Even the current popular term, “positive parenting” feels too loaded to me. So when I saw this little gem on “effective parenting 101,” I was inspired to write about…

Unconditional Parenting in Practice

Ahh, playground politics! A friend of mine recently said to me, “I didn’t get this down when I was a kid, and now I have to re-live it as a mother!?” Who (among us who spend any time picking up our kids from a Dutch school) doesn’t relate to that, I wonder? Today I was confronted with a hefty dose of it and found myself mediating…

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