Find connection with others

Sep 01, 2014

Throughout my life, I’ve been labeled as an extrovert. It’s true that I really enjoy people and derive much energy from them . . . but not just anyone and not just anytime. I have to first feel safe and comfortable – unafraid of being unfairly judged or sudden conflict. These conditions which I’ve become aware of as an adult have made it practically impossible for me to be with a group of strangers with initial ease. I watch others engage in small talk, shaking multiple hands at a networking event, while I feel dreadfully shy and can only ponder how on earth do they do it? How do I find connection with others?

This is perhaps one of the most important themes/questions of my life. I thrive on connection with others, and I wither on the vine when I sense that it’s not there, especially with the people I love most in my life. There have been so many situations in which I have attempted to get closer to someone important to me, but in the end experience disconnection and feel confusion, disappointment, loneliness, and sadness.

find connection with others, using NVC

I’ve found an amazing array of answers in my ongoing trainings in Nonviolent Communication, “a language of life” as its founder Marshall Rosenberg calls it. I wish its name better inferred the aims of the NVC model – for me, it’s about authenticity, honesty, vulnerability, ownership of what’s going on, clarity, and ultimately, connection. It started with me learning how to connect with myself – especially the things going on in me (feelings and needs) as opposed to all the thoughts and stories I’m so good at making up to help explain life around me.

Getting clear on the theoretical model of NVC was an essential starting point for me. Yet, the real work has been putting it to practice, during trainings, at home, and throughout my daily life, including professional settings. Now, I’m completely passionate about creating safe settings in which people can practice the skills of connecting communication. So if you ever wonder how you might find connection with others,”come and check out:

“C O N N E C T, with yourself, with others

Fridays, noon – 13.30
19 Sept. – 5 Dec.
1st session free, then €20-30 per session (self-chosen)
Holistisch Centrum Leidsestraat (106-108)

These group sessions are open to the English-speaking public interested in practicing real-life situations in which they are longing for connection. Using the Nonviolent Communication model, I facilitate individuals in their search for communication skills that help bring authenticity, understanding, clear requests/agreements via more conscious communication with yourself and with others. Participants can expect to find inner clarity and receive no judgment nor advice! Individual exercises and role plays will be used extensively (minimal to no theory! For NVC courses, I highly recommend certified NVC trainer, Yoram Mosenzon:

Here are example life situations that have come up for me personally or in my work with previous clients.

  • “I’m not satisfied with the household work distribution, but don’t know how to talk with my partner about it without him experiencing me as nagging him.”
  • “I’m pregnant, but am afraid to tell my partner who I’m sure will totally stress out about it.”
  • “I’m unsatisfied with many of my job responsibilities, but don’t know how to talk with my boss about it.”
  • “My mother passed away recently, and I long to give myself the grieving space I need. Yet practically everyone I know avoids the subject.”
  • “I get angry with my partner and children quite often lately, and feel a lot of shame and guilt – I don’t know what to do.”
  • “I’m really worried about some habits of my brother, but don’t know how to bring it up with him.”
  • “Visiting my in-laws’ home is not working for me, because I just shut down and suffer through it.”
  • “I am so torn between wanting two different things – how do I make a decision?”

To find out more, see:

Cara Crisler
Follow Me

No comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.