Author Archive

 Edging Towards Honesty

A friend once said to me, “Something is gained from every act of honest communication.” I recall my doubtful reaction. Yet I’m slowly learning he’s spot on. The trick is in how we define HONESTY. Being honest is not about sharing our thoughts. It’s about sharing our real truth—the only thing we actually can know—by expressing our personal feelings and needs. My “break-ups” Since my teenage years,…

Staying connected with my partner (part 2)

If you’re like me—and maybe most busy couples—I’m guessing you can also find visits to extended family a super challenging experience. Particularly when that visit involves multiple days at a time. I’ve been focusing a lot of effort on staying connected with my partner during these visits. This has been my best one yet, and I share here why that is plus tips you can try.…

Self-image: take this one critical step toward self-love

We can learn to improve how we see, feel about and even love/accept ourselves by learning to separate who we are as a whole . . . from . . . how we judge our role performances. So many times I considered myself a “bad mother” because I raised my voice, and then was consumed with the thought for days on end. Last Spring, I convinced…

3 tips for Self-Love

This is meant for you if you recognize that self-love isn’t exactly a familiar part of your life. Perhaps you’re harder on yourself than you are on others. It may be hard to accept gifts or gratitude. You find it far easier to love others. You may even tire yourself out in pursuit of love from others, in order to fulfill your need. I’ve been trying…

Nonviolent Communication in practice

There I was, inside a circle of 30 workshop participants. I’ve never liked being in the spotlight, never saw myself teaching, and I was feeling quite nervous and scared. And then, within the span of about one minute, I felt calm, safe, and totally impassioned about moving on. What could have brought about such change so quickly? How do I within seconds achieve clarity, connection and…

Staying connected with my partner

As a question to reflect on (not a test) . . . over the holidays, did you manage to connect and stay connected with the people who are MOST important to you? Read on to learn how I figured out a way for staying connected with my partner, and how you can, too. I find it so very intriguing. Over the course of my partnership (20+…

Connecting with Children in Need of Mourning

I was experiencing mixed emotions in anticipation of the day both my children stopped believing in Sinterklaas. On the one hand, I didn’t want the joy, the excitement, the “magic” to end for them. On the other hand, I was looking forward to the day I could have far more honest conversations with them, experience less pressure concerning filling their shoes AND to give them something…

Giving Thanks (or, how to express your appreciation to others)

It’s Thanksgiving in the U.S., and for me traditionally, that always meant coming together with family, sharing a ridiculously large meal made with care and love, and playing our favorite card games with lots of laughter. Of course they haven’t all been without their challenges. And more times than not, I wondered if we stopped to actually give thanks, show appreciation! Now that I live in…

Find connection with others

Throughout my life, I’ve been labeled as an extrovert. It’s true that I really enjoy people and derive much energy from them . . . but not just anyone and not just anytime. I have to first feel safe and comfortable – unafraid of being unfairly judged or sudden conflict. These conditions which I’ve become aware of as an adult have made it practically impossible for…

How to get unstuck, gain balance, and feel more satisfied in life

Are you wondering how to get unstuck? Does this sound familiar? “I am always doing, in survival mode, juggling parenting, work, household duties, volunteering, social activities—and find myself in certain routines and patterns. How do I deal better with my chaotic and full head and experience more relaxation, satisfaction and balance in my life?” I asked myself a similar question the year I turned 40, engaged…

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